Who knew that within two weeks of dealing with surrender, I would be face to face with the opportunity to do just that? In the last two weeks I have been plagued by two lesser known potential effects of pregnancy – itching and a degenerating fibroid. One was intense itching from the inside out, all over, everywhere, similar to an allergic reaction (right, allergic to pregnancy…really???). The other causes extreme pain that has been known to land women in the hospital for days while pumping narcotics into her system. Fun, right?
Anyway, in both situations I was faced with the option of remaining miserable (uncomfortable, stressed, anxious, and sleep-deprived, which could lead to contractions) or taking medication. Instantly I went into protective “momma” mode. “But I’m not supposed to take meds. There is no such thing as a safe drug during pregnancy. This is the trimester where the brain is developing. But what if…”
After being unable to cope with the discomfort, especially of the fibroid, I finally allowed myself to take Tylenol. I may as well have eaten a Tic-tac. The pain remained as excruciating as ever. I would need a more potent medication (in this case, Percocet). This process was not going to be easy. I could see the hand-writing on the wall. “Trust God.” “Surrender the baby to Him.” The realization hit me that as much as I can do to protect and care for the baby, I am limited, s/he really does belong to the Lord.
Psalm 139 has David saying that God knit him together in his mother’s womb. Not his mother. David praises God for being fearfully and wonderfully made. Not his mother. God ordained and wrote all of David’s days before one of them came to be. Not her. God knew David’s thoughts and heard his words before he spoke them. He saw David rising, sleeping, going out, and coming in. God hemmed him in- totally. His momma could do none of that.
So I prayed, surrendered the baby to the Lord, thanked Him for being God who could counteract anything., and took the pill. Until the next opportunity…