It’s been one of those
days nights weeks.
It is 6:30am. And for the second night I have awakened at 12:30am-ish to nurse the babies and I am unable to fall back asleep. It’s been one of those crazy, busy weeks. The hubby has been pulled away more than I would’ve liked, making for long days and even longer nights. There are my on-going post-partum physical challenges – because pregnancy alters everything. The almost 3 year old is being…an almost 3 year old. I have a long list of to-dos that feel like they are never getting done. I am overwhelmed. And angry.
I start my mental raving about birth control, and sleepless nights and no more…
And I stop.
I am gently reminded of four years ago. Four years ago I was angry for another reason – the exact opposite reason. I wanted a child and a year after a miscarriage – nothing. I was overwhelmed. And angry.
I do that sometimes – way too often actually. I will forget that a blessing is a blessing. And falsely believe that blessing means “absence of difficulty.” It doesn’t.
I have a tendency to be like the Israelites. On the heels of being delivered from the Egyptians after 400 years of slavery, seeing God perform unbelievable miracles, and watching as their captors were destroyed, they forgot that a blessing is a blessing. Freedom was a blessing. But, with freedom came certain responsibilities. When faced with challenges, such as being unable to find water or the food that they wanted, they grumbled and complained, proclaiming that they would have preferred to go back to Egypt. Clearly, they had forgotten.
And, so had I. These three beautiful children are an answer to prayer. They are fun (and funny) to watch. They bring joy and are a reflection of God’s grace. They are living examples of God doing “exceedingly, abundantly above all could ask or imagine.” (all 3 were born afterI turned 36).
Yes, there are certain responsibilities that come with parenting. A lot. My life and body are not my own. Some “balls drop”, and other things will take longer to get done. Parenting stretches me, and at times, (like tonight/this morning) overwhelms me. But here is the truth,
“Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward.
Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth.
Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them!” Psalm 127:3-5.
And, as I am finishing this posting, the toddler comes joyfully running in, lays his head on my shoulder, sings “Good morn-ging, Mommy” and goes off to play with his trains and truck. Remembering that a blessing is a blessing…
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