In July 2008, we found out we were expecting our first child. We were shocked. Honestly, it took a few days for the reality to sink in. Once it did, we began talking about dreams for the child, names, and gender preferences. We went out to celebrate. And, I made my first doctor appt for mid-August.
Then, one day, it all crumbled. We lost the child. And for the next year and a half we desperately try to conceive, all to no avail. Losing a child is heartbreaking…then, the inability to conceive again as quickly as others tell you it should happen heaps insult upon painful insult month after month. I was devastated, and determined that I needed to stop “trying” in order to protect my heart for awhile.
In late January 2010, I went on a mission trip to Ghana. A few weeks after returning, I started feeling odd. I went to the doctor, absolutely convinced I had contracted some parasite. However, the exam revealed nothing out of the ordinary. Interestingly enough, neither the doctor nor I considered pregnancy a possibility, because it was considered to early to be tested. But, two weeks later the “odd” feeling intensified and it all became clear – I was pregnant. And we were ecstatic.
I won’t lay out any details of my pregnancy, those can be found at sovereignrest.com, along with his birth story, which was definitely one of our top moments, but it’s already written (for starters, it took 51 hours for Enoch to arrive. Yes. Fifty-one).
One of my top moments is Enoch’s dedication at the church we attended in Tennessee, Strong Tower Bible Church. After the miscarriage and during the time we were trying to conceive, people would occasionally come up to us to let us know they were praying for us, and our future children. Many of them were full of faith, absolutely certain that it would happen, during a time when I admit I was faith-less. I could not see beyond the moment. In the moment, I was child-less, and as far as I was concerned, barren. It hurt too badly to pray or hope. But, these friends encouraged me.
When the time came to dedicate Enoch, I wanted to acknowledge the people who prayed for us somehow. I wanted to publicly thank them as I was overwhelmed by their gratitude. So, I asked Pastor John to have any one who prayed for us to simply stand, as it was general practice to have those who supported the family to stand anyway. What he did had much more of an impact on me. He asked those who prayed for us to walk towards the stage. Y’all, as people began walking up from all over the church, I lost it. I knew we had been prayed for by a few people, but to physically see them, and to watch people come forward who never uttered a word to us about praying, but faithfully and privately prayed, was overwhelming.
And then, with outstretched arms they prayed again – that this little boy we held in our arms, would grow up to love God and love people. Anyone who has spent any time around this sweet, busy, inquisitive, lively, extroverted almost 4 year old little boy can attest to answered prayers.
- God does hear.
- God’s “Yes” leaves you in awe, and with overwhelming gratitude.
- God is faithful, even when we are faithless.
- He is in control. I am not.
- Since I am not in control, I must trust Him.
- We have great people in our lives.
- This verse is true, “The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.” James 5:16b