Your Hands Must Be Full

“Your hands must be full.” I get this a lot. A. Lot. My response is usually a friendly, mildly sarcastic “A little.” As I give a sheepish smile and hold my pointer finger and thumb together. The commenter typically laughs and goes on with whatever he/she is doing. Meanwhile, I meander along, looking as though I have a handle on things and systems in place in order to give the appearance that my hands are not really that full. This usually works in Trader Joes (its small), and Target (they have 3-seater carts), or the little park that we frequent (it is fenced in).

But noooo, on this particular Saturday I decided I wanted to venture out. Alone. Hubby had to work. I wanted the children to have this experience. And, I needed to prove that this “your hands must be full” season is a fallacy. So, I took 3G (the name a friend gave to our crew) to a kids theatre production – an open house – with an instrument petting zoo, interactive on-stage performances, an arts and crafts station, stairs, a balcony, and children, many many children.

After successfully navigating the petting zoo, we ventured into the auditorium to watch the main performance. I had the wonderful idea to take the twins out of their stroller so they could participate in the dancing and singing. Except. One wasn’t interested in the singing and the dancing. She was fascinated by the stairs. So off she went. Her sister decided the stairs were a viable option, while brother decided that this was the perfect time to go to the bathroom, and he had to go RIGHT NOW. Now, my better judgment said to put the girls back in the stroller before heading to the bathroom, but in some misguided effort to prove that my hands are not that full and because big brother had to go to the bathroom RIGHT NOW, I put a toddler under each arm and we marched off to the bathroom amidst several “Awwwww, you have your hands full.” comments. Blah.

In the bathroom, we were alone. Perfect. No lines. I hold the girls. Enoch picks a stall, and goes in to get situated. Except, the toilet is a little too tall. So. I weigh which twin is most likely to make a fast break, and hold onto her hand, while helping brother with the other. Except. My calculation was off. Little Miss Bella took off running while he was midstream.

By now, another woman has entered the restroom, and this is what she hears…

“Bella. Bella. Come out. Bella. NOOOOOoooo. Get your hand out of the toilet!!!”

And as she comes out of her stall, this is what she sees…

Enoch, out of his stall, standing in the middle of the bathroom with his pants and underwear down because he wants to see Bella playing in the toilet.

And this is what she sees and hears…

Me, with Issa still dangling under one arm, holding Bella between my knees, grabbing Enoch with my free hand, incredulously asking him “Enoch. What are you doing??! Pull your pants up, right now.”

And this is what she says (while giggling, I might add) “You have your hands full.”

Gif from http://reactiongifs.com/?p=14036

 Lesson for me: Do not take all three children into a bathroom without 2 of them strapped in a stroller until they are 18.

Lesson for you: if you see a mom barely holding onto one child, while another child is playing in the toilet, and yet another is standing in the middle of the bathroom half-naked. Do NOT state the obvious. Yes. Her hands ARE full. So, loan her one (or both) of yours.