My dad is a twin. My mom had twin brothers. My sister has two sets of twins. Several people over the years had dreams of us having twins (myself included). According to research, there are three factors that increase one’s chances of having a multiples birth – heredity (√), being African-American (√√), and being of advanced maternal age, older than 35 (√√√). So, I can’t say that we were surprised when we discovered we were expecting twins. However, the timing is what caught us off guard.
Prior to moving from Tennessee, we decided that Reggie would come ahead of us in order to get our lives in order. We moved by faith, but we had a plan – plans actually, and they all fell through. Horribly. Well, our plans fell through. God’s plans to teach us that He is a great BIG God, and our Provider and Protector, to humble us, stretch our faith, increase our prayer lives, grow us closer to Him and one another, teach us the importance of authentic community, get me writing again, etc., etc.- His plans prevailed.
As I was saying…our plan was that Reggie would come ahead of us in June, while Enoch and I spent the month in North Carolina with my sister and her family. We would join him in July, once he was working, and had our home set up. Except, the job fell thru, actually, a couple of jobs, which means he could not set up our home. However, we still followed thru with joining him 5 weeks later. And by mid August we were pregnant. Unexpectedly. In fact, we had a conversation about continuing to wait before expanding our family, and being ok with Enoch being the only child for awhile. Unbeknownst to us, we were already pregnant. I’m quite sure God laughed as we laid out our plans.
By 10 weeks I was a bit larger than typically expected and wearing maternity clothes already. By 12 weeks, I was feeling movement, which typically doesn’t occur until 16 weeks or later. I mentioned it to my midwife – a very experienced, well-loved and revered midwife, because I was convinced it was twins. After measuring, checking for heartbeats, etc. she assured (and re-assured) me there was only one, and that I just carry big babies (Enoch was almost 10 lbs). I jokingly (but not really) pointed out that either I was having an alien baby or twins, because it was too much movement for just one. Checking again, she assured me, one heartbeat. One baby. What we would later discover is that the girls heartbeats were often synchronized. So much so that in the latter half of pregnancy, I had to have multiple ultrasounds because doctors and techs had difficulty detecting both heartbeats because of their position and the fact that they beat simultaneously.
At 13 weeks an unexpected two-week trip to Chicago for my grandfather’s funeral meant I missed the window of opportunity to have an ultrasound common for mothers of “advanced maternal age”, which means, I missed that window to find out we were having twins. By the way, my ENTIRE family was certain it was twins, and rarely missed the opportunity to tell me while I was visiting. We all knew, but I kept protesting with, “But, my midwife said”.
Should’ve listened to Bigma.
Twenty weeks. December 21. That morning we mailed out our Christmas cards announcing the arrival of “baby G” in May (yes we mailed Christmas cards on Dec 21 – don’t judge). That afternoon we went in for the twenty week ultrasound. I’m prepped – laying on the table, belly exposed. Reggie is sitting in the chair next to me watching the screen. The ultrasound tech grabs the wand, plugs in some information on the keyboard, and begins scanning. About 2 minutes in, she abruptly stops. Holds the wand still with one hand, she frantically starts flipping thru my chart with the other. Glances back at the screen. Flips thru the chart again. Looks at screen. Looks at us. “Is this your first ultrasound?” “Yes.” “So. Um…” Reggie and I together, “You see two babies.” With a look of relief, and surprise “YESSSSSSS!!!. Did anyone ever tell you that you were having twins?”
Yep. But, not a medical professional.
Five months later…
Lessons learned:
- God is in control.
- We are not in control. God is in control.
- Birth control is an illusion. Because, God is in control.
- God determines when it is time to conceive (twins), or not (before conceiving Enoch). The results of any amount of trying or preventing was left up to Him. Because, God is in control.
- God provides and protects. Because, God is in control.
- Grandmothers know stuff. But, God is in control.
- Sometimes you just have to trust your gut. But, always remember that God is in control
