I am not your enemy.
I am not your enemy.
I am not your enemy.
Repeat after me…
I.am.not.your.enemy.
I feel as though a few of us may need to practice this phrase over the next day or so, and prepare to declare it. Repeatedly.
About 10 years ago, Reggie and I attended our first marriage retreat called A Weekend to Remember, hosted by Family Life. We were newly engaged and determined to enter marriage well-informed, and as prepared as possible. We had seen marriages that survived. We wanted a marriage that would thrive.
You know how it is with conferences, you are highly engaged in the moment. Passionate speakers. Thought-provoking exercises. You laugh, you ponder, maybe even cry. You are excited to implement ALL of information that you acquire, absolutely convinced that it will change your life/marriage/business/thinking. And then, as life happens and reality settles in, these ideas get tossed in the bin of “good intentions.”
That happened with us after that first retreat. We weren’t married yet, so we couldn’t see how some of these issues they discussed could possibly apply to us. We loved each other. We were friends. We could talk on the phone for hours. Agreed about everything. I once told him “I can’t imagine myself ever being mad at you” (he wisely responded, “Give me time.”). Nevertheless, we quickly discovered that our heads were in the clouds and we were indeed human, just like everyone else. And we would disagree and argue – just like anyone else.
But, one phrase stuck. And to this day, we still use it. When we are at odds over a particular issue, both determined to dig in our heels, prove our point and be right(!!!!), often one of us will come to our senses, and realize that there are greater things at stake than what we are arguing about. One of us will determine that our relationship, our desire to communicate, our intimacy and health and viability, our commitment to grow, and serve and support one another, our family and our witness is more important that who wins this argument.
“I am not your enemy.”
I am not your opponent, adversary, or competitor. I am not hostile towards you or aggressively opposed to your well-being. I want the best for you, for us. I am not out to destroy you. Even though that may feel like the case in the heat of the disagreement – I am not your enemy.
Now, as I mentioned in this previous post, I don’t believe “the Enemy” (Satan) is around every corner, or under every rock. But, I believe he and his forces are real. And his passion is destruction -of anything and everything that is healthy and good – by any means necessary.
That’s why I want us to practice this phrase. Because in a few hours some people will be celebrating, and some will be dismayed (and still others will be, “Meh.”) Family members – both blood relatives and those of us who are family by the blood of Christ will wonder, “Why in the world did you vote for_____?” or ask “Why didn’t you vote for_____?” or “How could you____?”
At the end of the day. Remind them (and yourself).
“I. Am. Not. Your. Enemy.”
My friend and sis, Sandy Hafeez wrote this very helpful post interviewing our friend Melody Gardner, about how people who claim to follow Christ can best engage one another in this tumultuous season.
“For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood,
but against the rulers,
against the authorities,
against the cosmic powers over this present darkness,
against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.”
Ephesians 6:12